...Just What I've Always Wanted...

Little gifts, ribbons and lace packaged up nicely on tables so fancy. They say, they say, congratulations and I smile so brightly never ever have I felt a feeling so delighting. A baby, A baby we're having a baby due, due now any day.

The gifts are outrageous the shower us so, they all make comments and touch where you grow. They leave and I sit surrounded by gifts and all I can think is, "my life has come to this..." Never ever have I wanted anything more than this.

Maternity Blouse and pants that stretch I never thought this would be the best outfit I'd wear, but here I am bursting at the seams and falling out hair. I arrange our space where we will sit you and me baby-this is it. I hope you like it, a little place of speacial... A glider that rocks-it doesn't really glide, I guess this is the first mommy conundrum of my journey in life. Our room is full of them really, things that suck spit and snot, a swaddling blanket, and organic cotton cot....

Your daddy thinks it's cute when I waddle down the hall, I bet he never thought he'd get turned on by that, not in a million years- not at all. He loves you he sings to you but knows quite heavy that he'll never ever know the feeling of you in my belly. Bittersweet I think, I'd like to think that daddies are a bit jealous about missing that sync. The sync of you and I baby bound together in life forever and ever that's right....

Here you come! I wake up (as I have a million times before- thinking, "This is it") but this time I'm for sure..."Longer,stronger and closer together" this is it!, this is it-it's true you DO KNOW better. Between the real and the that ol' hick braxton-what a tease he was at 35 weeks and counting.

What happens next is magic you and I together....working in true poetry strongly 'never felt anything better. You work your way with my body you cue and suddenly-suddenly my darling-it's you. The you I've always known in my soul and in my being, the you your daddy and I created in loving euphoria, the you we're now seeing.

Your fingers look like mine and your eyes look like his but what I consider the most pressing to tell you my reason for being is this:

You're just what I've always wanted
You're my heart and soul in purity.
There may be times when it gets rough
I say you don't listen and you think I don't hold you enough...
Days will come that I can't understand you
Weeks may pass that we can't agree-
But know my life-that you're the only one for me.
There may be days that I stay in nothing but pajamas
That I serve brown rice for breakfast and dinner with bananas.
There may be years I don't cut my hair and chipped toe nail polish
I hope my appearance doesn't embarrass you much-I will get on it-honest...
You are a miracle, a work of art beyond anything I am deserving
You are creative and lively and often inspiring-
Each day goes by and praise the God I am serving.
You light up my life and you say one little word..
That melts me oh it melts me....and defines me worth..
"Momma".